Initially it feels comfortable and secure to cocoon; to wrap yourself in a blanket and just let yourself drift.  Without energy, direction, or motivation there is nothing to do but allow the tears and thoughts to flow, and rest.  But then, without doing anything, one feels the first stirrings of new life; an inner sensation as delicate as butterfly wings and as palpable as fetus feet moving in the womb. Finally, there is a ray of hope and the sense of a  future. This was written 5 weeks after he died.